The abrupt end of marriage can leave you blindsided and disoriented. It can get so bad that we forget that no matter how hard, everything should be handled with grace. According to several sites on physical and mental health, divorce can be compared to the feeling of death and coping mechanism that kicks in is similar to when coping with death. It's very easy to get angry and act ungracious. To avoid that and come out of it like a strong and graceful lady you are, you need to understand 5 different stages of emotion one goes through and how to handle it. Though they may not in particular order, these are emotions people go through until they get through it. To help you cope with it and cope gracefully, familiarize yourself with each of these 5 emotions and what triggers them.
Denial - because you can't process what's happening
Anger - the feeling of helplessness fuels anger
Depression - caused by sadness, grief and loneliness
Bargaining - the "what if" stage, struggle to find answers
Acceptance - you come to terms and find clarity
Now that you know what these stages are this process will actually appear normal. When you begin to recognize each stage give yourself a break by working through it versus getting stuck in one stage. Understand that right now you can't process what happened, it's easy to deny the fact, but reality remains. It's ok to get angry. Find a way to get the anger out. Avoid calling your partner, screaming, cussing. Don't take the anger on loved ones either. Feeel free to go outside and break a plate, scream on top of your lungs, let the anger out, but do it privately. Then raise you head, walk back and remain calm. If you are starting to feel depressed, it's ok. Understand that this is an unavoidable part of the process. Don't give up on yourself, take care of yourself instead. Add beautifying procedures, excercise, come up with a diet plan to be healthy. It's a perfect time to get the support that you need and want. Don’t fall into the trap of isolating yourself from friends or family, specialists, support groups. It's part of life, it's part of the process, and most importantly you are not alone.
And ones you begin the process of accepting that the divorce has become a part of your past, begin to explore new interests my friend to help you grow and move on quickly. Life is precious!
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