One of Arthur Schopenhauer's most famous phrases is: "life swings back and forth like a pendulum between pain and boredom." And we do. Humans are desiring beings who strive to obtain things from the world. Behind this striving is a lack of something. But once that desire is achieved it rarely makes you fully happy, because of every satisfied desire there are number of others, waiting to take its turn.
It's almost like the desire for pleasure and the pleasure itself are opposite. There are things we desire that must be achieved to survive, like food and water. But once we are lucky to have that, we become bored and we begin to desire for extra things like luxury, nicotine, drugs, fashion things.
Most of us desire to be in a healthy, in a long-lasting relationship and have a fulfilling sexual life. But desiring is one thing and actualizing it is a whole other apple. Sure there might be love and commitment. But, this isn’t enough to fulfill the desire of being in a relationship. Relationships needs hard work, but it is worth it at the end of the day.
Desire feeds the physical intimacy needed to nurture connection. If desire fades in an intimate relationship, the couple become more of housemates or colleagues. Yes, love can still be present, and they might even have sex. However, when there is no desire, how a person sees and feels themselves changes, and that will certainly reflect on the relationship.
So desire is the protective guard around relationships. But then it doesn’t stop there. You can desire yourself and your partner. However, you need more than just desire to sustain a relationship. Fulfilling a relationship requires both individuals to contribute actively to one another’s happiness without expecting anything.
You must invest time and energy into the relationship even as you invest in your self-growth and development. This way, you will achieve self-fulfillment and a fulfilling relationship. Investing in a relationship, even as you invest in your personal development, brings satisfaction and fascination. Your relationship will become better with time, and you will live a fulfilled life.
