There is no mystery in the formula of true love. As the classic wrote, "All happy families are alike." If you are comfortable with being yourself when you are alone with your beloved, you are in the happiest relationship with a favorable prognosis for the future.
Nevertheless, not everyone is able to reveal themselves to a partner - many are hindered by upbringing, acquired complexes, fear of loneliness. Let's analyze popular but harmful thoughts that impede successful unions.
I'm afraid I won't meet anyone else
The great Persian philosopher Omar Khayyam adored women, but even he understood that it was better to be alone, "than with just anyone." The formula "Endure - fall in love" does not work these days, including for money. Sooner or later, you will be flooded with regrets from the "Oh, if only" series, and you will begin to feel nostalgic about the lost opportunities and look outside of the relationship for interest. This, by the way, concerns not only love, but also friendship. If your relationship initially encourages you not to get to know each other, but to adapt, the chances of successful development are very modest. By compromising your personal interests and persuading yourself to be patient in order not to return to loneliness, you risk directing your story to a sad ending.
The perfection of relationships, romantic and platonic, is that when you are one on one with your parnter, you feel so confident that you show all sides of your true self. It is openness that defines a close and healthy bond, and at the same time assumes that you do not like certain things in his / her character and habits, and sometimes you can annoy each other. Such nuances are absolutely normal and only confirm that happiness looks different for different people because everyone has their own ideas about trust and comfort. Of course in some rare cases it's possible, like in the movie Fifty Shades of Grey, but remember that it is usually hopeless and detrimental to your self-esteem to force a romance in which you pretend to be happy just because you are afraid to let go.
I CAN GET BETTER / MAKE IT BETTER
Sounds weird, actually. That is, you admit that the person is not suitable for you, but you choose him anyway. Almost like "I want this dress, it is cute ,not sure about it, but I can lose weight." What's the point of buying if it doesn't work right now? What if, when you lose weight, you find a cooler dress? What if you don't lose weight? Before you decide to pay for this dress, you may not have had such a thought ... The honest self includes all the flaws. When entering into a relationship for which you hope to change, you must recognize the vulnerability of such a partnership. Do you think you enjoy being the one or the one who is not good enough? For years? It is often a matter of time before you reach the point where you are ready to accept all the pros and cons. An impressive percentage of reunions of former partners confirms that those who have overcome the maximalist stage, where it is important to present themselves or their partner in an ideal light, are ready to create strong couples.
EVERYTHING MAY CHANGE
There is a positive side to this approach for those who believe in self-development and a sincere dialogue with a partner. You can only change for love in tandem. The idea is not too unrealistic, although it requires fabulous patience. And, like any joint project, it often helps to find the keys to trust. Basic advice: Wait enough time before getting married until both of you are sure you are ready spend the life together. This implies that you got a good look at each other and instead of spending energy on conquering mythical frontiers, you quit the struggle to be yourself or you part ways.
