THE PROBLEM OF BULLYING IN SCHOOLS IS ESSENTIAL, partially because adults - teachers and parents (of both those who bully and bullying victims) - still prefer to turn a blind eye to it. But this does not mean that vicious practices do not need to be fought or that this struggle cannot be successful. I was a bullying victim myself. After five years studying at the Ballet academy I was forced to leave my hometown due to a war in my country and had to move to a regular school. The Walk (molded from the first ballet lesson of first position, heels together, toes out) that I inherited from hard work of dancing became the laughing ground of the “cool kids” bunch. They walked behind me calling me all kinds of names, they even managed to throw my shoes down the stairs. I ended up walking three flights of stairs barefoot and look for my shoes. Even though it was hurtful and embarrassing, I was tough. I didn’t tell my mom. Even if I did, I knew she’d tell me to just deal with it. Now when I think about it, I laugh.

But let me tell you, when it comes to bullying my kids today, the mama bear in me wakes up. So allow me tell you how I managed to stop bullying at the school where my daughter studied.

"Cool" and "not cool"

After elementary school, my daughter entered the intermediate school. As it usually happens the backbone of the so-called "cool gang" quickly formed and began to cling to the "not cool bunch". My daughter was among the "not cool" ones. The reason for bullying can be absolutely anything and sometimes nothing at all. The “cool kids” began taking away her personal belongings, hiding them, laughing as she passed by them, called her names, body shamed, threatened to fight her in school over texts. You name it, we’ve seen it. My daughter refused to go to school. That drew the line and “Don’t you mess with my cubs” mode went full on.

When I first approached the school for help, staff and teachers chose not to not interfere much. At the most, they conducted conversations on the topic “let’s all be friends”, “children can figure it out on the own“, “socializing needs time and work”, blah blah. No!

I wrote an email to the school principal's and found out that she did not even know about me raising the concern with teachers or the situation in the classroom. I foresaw this, so I said that I would bring a statement. I sent this beautiful work of more than twenty pages by e-mail to the address of the school, to the address of the chairman of the governing council of the school, and at the same time I took it to district council. I firmly decided to go to the end: even if would decide to leave school, we will leave, having previously "given everyone what they deserved", and not with a cultivated sense of guilt. All this we discussed with my daughter - she did not want to leave school because of other friends.

As a result, the school turned on and began to understand the situation. They talked separately with the parents of the students whom I indicated in the statement. Both my child and I received an apology from the school and the parents. Everyone instantly learned the manners. Bullying in my daughter's class has stopped. Moreover, some of those children became friends with my daughter after.

The more active the school took control over the problem, the more the class realized that all this was serious. Everything worked out. Not taking any action and have your child deal with bullying on their own should never be an option. Yes, we were stronger as kids back then, but today’s youth is fragile (compliments of social media) Even if they go through it alone, they’ll develop many insecurities down the line. If we all take action to prevent it, the world will be a much better place.

Yours truly,

Giula Juliet Belkin